2012 MLB Season Predictions: Ricardo Marquez
East: Tampa Bay Rays: The Montreal Expos take this without hesitation. Huh? They were in the NL East and they're not a team anymore? Well I guess this gives the young guns in Tampa Bay a shot to take the division.
Central: Detroit Tigers: I would insert a comedic joke in reference to a certain breakfast product, but I am not obligated to talk about it since my incident with the mascot. He started it.
West: Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim: The Angels just signed Tony Danza to strengthen their starting rotation and Danny Glover as the new skipper in a massive FA signing. Danny is not too old for the shot of winning the trophy.
Wild Card 1: Texas Rangers: With the wisdom and power of Chuck Norris, the Texas Rangers snag the first Wild Card spot.
Wild Card 2: New York Yankees: You love them, you hate them, you love to hate them. Pettitte is playing the cop that had one more day on the job before retirement. HE'S DEFINITELY NOT TOO OLD FOR THIS!
Pennant: Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim: A lot of team pennants will be sold. I plan to buy some online while dwelling in the MLB Fan Cave. The Angels will have the biggest pennant. How many times can I say pennant? Pennant.
MVP: Tony Danza. Recycled joke. Bad attempt. Miguel Cabrera.
Cy Young: Dan Haren: The Rodney Dangerfield of pitchers, Dan Haren. Give the man some respect.
Rookie of the Year: Matt Moore: I would say a joke like "Some more Moore," but I feel like he would not like that and I really don't want him to dislike me.
East: Philadelphia Phillies: I already used the Expos joke, right? Phillies. Only because Gordon Mack is watching me write this out and I think he would flip out if I didn't pick them.
Central: Milwaukee Brewers: Suds and Buds. Milwaukee Brewers. T-Plush is going to go HAM. I don't know what that means but I know a lot of cool people say it and they usually do cool things after it.
West: Arizona Diamondbacks: After speaking with Jafar from the movie Aladdin, I was pretty impressed with the Snake Staff he had so I'm picking the Arizona Diamondbacks.
Wild Card 1: Atlanta Braves: Greg Maddux decides to come back and show Pettitte up. Braves sneak in a Wild Card spot.
Wild Card 2: Washington Nationals: The Nationals are the sleeping giants of Major League Baseball. Sleeping Giants, also a cool hardcore band.
Pennant: Atlanta Braves: They’re coming out on top after tomahawking the competition. That was terrible.
MVP: Ryan Braun: Tried to think of another joke, but Ricky Mast is literally doing backflips in the cave. THIS IS INSANE!
Cy Young: I have nothing but love for Stephen Strasburg this season. Kershaw is going to have to step it up. But how can you step up from pure awesome? Can they both be Cy Young?
Rookie of the Year: Yonder Alonso: The kid is an RBI machine. And because RBI is close to ribs, it's getting me real hungry.
World Series: Come on..THE ANGELS WILL BE LUMINOUS!